Dressing Your Truth Experience

[pamelaw]

Moyne, I have never bought their make up. I DYT and get so many compliments as it all goes so well with me. It really resonates and I use Maybelline (some of it from Dollar Tree) and I have some Jafra and some Beauti Control and Mary Kay a friend just gave me that is perfect for me.

I also have an observation and want to run this past others DYT'g that are not type 2's, but have dominant Type 3 or 4. When you DYT does it bring out the abusive men in your circle of acquaintances? Maybe the ex husbands of your friends who are real jerks and they approach you to fight?

Thanks.

[pamelaw]

I really enjoyed Carol's blog this week in outing Oprah and her consistently unsatisfying 'solutions' to women. It's shameful at times, including what Carol references.

http://thecarolblog.com/dressingyour...fashion-advice

[PhyllisB]

I was listening to Carol's blog talk radio recording from last night. Interesting how she received so many awful men callers. It's sad really. I don't understand why people feel the need to do those things.
Carol needs to have someone start screening her callers. I fear that once these people have started this behavior, it's not going to stop easily.

I agree about Carol's blog on Oprah, Pamela. Oprah reaches so many people and that was such negative advice!

[pamelaw]

Phyllis, that sure is what I've been noticing as a Type 3 woman DYT'g. There are so many abusive people out there that are so threatened by positive, femininity and strength.

I call it modern day Baal worship (pole worship, aka, if it has a penis it has to be right), which is absolutely inappropriate for one with a conscience and soundness of mind.

Any woman not submitting to their insanity and abuse is targeted and just looking strong and sound is enough to bring on the attacks. It sounds like Carol is experiencing on her radio show what I've experienced 3 times since DYT'g.

Sickening and interesting all at the same time.

[pamelaw]

I also call it Victim Theology, which, sadly, as a survivor of attempted murder and domestic violence, I'm all too familiar with as I left (almost too late) and other women have tried to make it sound like it must have been my fault, he's only a man (Tammy Wynette music is playing in the background), etc....

Too often these types like the negative attention they get as a they think of themselves as martyrs. These women are so hurtful to other women and I'm so sick of them twisting words to justify such nonsense.

Interestingly, my friends mother, who is very much a Victim Theologist, has avoided me since I've been DYT'g. I've had my run in's with her abusive version of 'encouragement' before and have always answered her back and exposed the falacies and she's been very abusive and passive aggressive. Since DYT'g she's said 'hello' when I see her and that's it instead of following me around hoping to provoke me.

However, it's these Baal men who try to pick a fight with me. I stand my ground and am calm, and dignified and they literally spin themselves into a frenzy and blow up. My DH has told both these guys that he'll press police charges if they ever try and approach me that way again and he means it and he's a very big guy and they are afraid of him.

Weird.

[PhyllisB]

Pamela...I'm so glad to hear that DYT'g has helped you feel more comfortable standing up to stupidity (I'm not a type 4, but couldn't help using that word it just felt appropriate). Stay strong...I know you will!

[Butterflymama]

When you DYT does it bring out the abusive men in your circle of acquaintances? Maybe the ex husbands of your friends who are real jerks and they approach you to fight?

I'm type 4. I have a very, very small circle of acquaintances. As a personal rule, I do not socialize with men outside of family (none of whom are abusive) or close friends of DH. So, no to the question.
However, I have noticed that I tend to attract very unstable, type 1 women. I emphasize the unstable part, so as not to offend any type 1's here . It drives me crazy. It's like I have a bullseye that says, "I'm stable and you can use me as your own personal therapist". So I am really cautious of new people who try to enter my "space". I can usually spot it before it gets very far. I do not readily socialize anyway, being a strong type 4, but now I am understanding why people like that are drawn to me.

[pamelaw]

Vicki, me too! I went to town for the first time in a week yesterday and one who is an acquaintance and another at the co-op when she saw my Rottie puppy, Fezzik. This is a challenge for me all of my life. People always want a 'piece' of me and I feel it's not healthy too often.

Good for you standing up to it and thanks for the encouragement, gals. It gets scary at times.

My eldest child is learning the Mossad self-defense stuff and wants to teach me a few things in case I need it. Maybe he does care?

I really do think God created teenagers so we'd know what it is like to be created in someone's image and yet deny their existence!

[gillmings]

Well, Pamela, that would explain why a Type 3 would hide in Type 2, doesn't it?! It will be interesting to see how things go over time. Did all these people know you before you started living your truth? If so, some of their actions may be in response to the change. They may be trying to bully you back into your previous way of dealing with them.

What I like about this EP is that is helps you unravel some of the threads of your life. I FINALLY got the printed book today and turned right to the Type 2 section. I am so thankful for the story of a woman who is Type 2 with strong secondary Type 3 (like me) who explains how she was living in Type 3. It's helping me figure out how I got here. I now need to work on learning how to use my Type 2 strengths to help me more, rather than jumping into Type 3. In some ways, it seems like Type 3 brings conlfict to a head and gets it over faster. I HATE conflict, so I think I never figured out how to use Type 2 strengths to resolve it, so I relied on Type 3 to move things along. But that often caused more conflict in the long run, because it's not my dominant nature. I need to learn to use Type 3 to my advantage, when appropriate, without just defaulting to it and staying there. It's definitely not "comfortable" that way...

I had learned, from Dr. Phil, of all people, that keeping calm in a crazy situation is a huge strength and that you give away your power when you get upset and lose control. You then also lose credibility. But if you can stay strong in being calm and not allowing yourself to get sucked in to someone else's drama, you have much more power. I have really struggled to do that, but when I have been successful, especially with my drama-queen daughter, it has been a good thing. This EP Type 2 stuff gives a whole new spin on that for me. Not that you can't do the same thing in every Type, but it's a good example for me to remember to use my strengths.

[pamelaw]

Moyne, yes, every one of these negative exchanges are with people that have known me before DYT'g. I think you are right.

I wish I could totally avoid all of these people, as they are so out of control right now with their soap opera private lives, but in a small town with mutual activities, it's not possible.

Things will work out, that I know, but it's tough.

Thanks for your insight and input. And yes, no wonder I hid in Type 2 so much. Growing up it's all I was allowed to do without being ripped open.

"I had learned, from Dr. Phil, of all people, that keeping calm in a crazy situation is a huge strength and that you give away your power when you get upset and lose control. You then also lose credibility. But if you can stay strong in being calm and not allowing yourself to get sucked in to someone else's drama, you have much more power."

That is so true and I think this is what made them even more resentful. The glares I've received and the confusion and the whispers. Sometimes, I think many people have never left high school.

Moyne, I'm so glad this info is helpful to you. It has been for me as well. Things will settle, eventually.